From April 5 to April 7, the Seattle Mariners will play the Chicago
White Sox in a stadium where they're 2-14 over the past 16 games because
2 + 14 = 16.
Mariners fans can forego the ROOT Sports broadcast and listen to White Sox TV commentator Ken "Hawk" Harrelson.
"The
Hawk" provides a wide variety of weird ramblings during broadcasts,
including such fine calls as, "Yes!" and, "Mercy!" and, "He gone!" and,
"You can put it on the board - Yes! Yes!"
Harrelson most likely suffered a stroke 15 years ago, but it has gone undetected despite his public broadcasting duties.
When
asked about his broadcasting style, Harrelson said, "I'm introducing a
150-word vocabulary this year. That's 10 more than I used last year."
Mercy.
04 April 2013
Mariners Score 2 Runs, Again
In a season that's only seen four games, the Seattle Mariners (2-2) have scored two runs in three of those games. Unfortunately, they're right at .500.
"Look," Manager Eric Wedge said, "we wanted offensive consistency and we're finally getting there. For anyone who says differently, I give them Morse."
Wedge is referring to Mariners outfielder, Michael Morse, who slugged his fourth homerun in as many games in an 2-8 loss to Oakland on Thursday. The line drive shot to left inspired the rest of the ball club to stop scoring.
At the time of this publishing, Morse leads the majors in homeruns.
Brandon Maurer (0-1, 9.00), making his major league debut, allowed a two-run homerun to Josh Reddick in the first. Maurer allowed six runs over six innings, fanning one batter, and giving up eight hits.
"I could have given up a run each inning," Maurer said, "but I figured I should give them up in spurts. Why wait?"
"I would have allowed more, but [Michael] Saunders had to go and throw someone out."
Saunders also had a sac-fly in the fifth to score the Mariners first run of the game. At the time, it cut Oakland's lead to 2-1.
However, Seattle wasn't satisfied with just a one-run deficit, allowing the A's to answer with a run in the fifth, and three in the sixth.
"I always tell them that if you're going to go out there," Wedge said, "no matter what you do, do the best you can."
Heeding that advice, Mariners reliever, Lucas Luetge, allowed two sac-flies in the eighth, increasing the Mariners deficit to six.
"I tried to give up more," Luetge said, "but they only hit them far enough for sacrifices."
Tidbit of the Day
Michael Morse is - somehow - still on pace for 162 homeruns this season. Regarding the torrid pace, Wedge said he "bet him a dollar for every run" the Mariners score this year that he couldn't do it.
In reply, Morse said, "I know that only makes it a ninety-eight dollar bet, but I need a new pair of batting gloves."
Yahoo! Sports Box Score
-----
While some information in the article is factual, the article itself is meant for entertainment. All quotes are fictitious.
"Look," Manager Eric Wedge said, "we wanted offensive consistency and we're finally getting there. For anyone who says differently, I give them Morse."
 |
| Like the Mariners offense, all Rs are tallied with two short blips split by a long break. (Credit: Cliff) |
Wedge is referring to Mariners outfielder, Michael Morse, who slugged his fourth homerun in as many games in an 2-8 loss to Oakland on Thursday. The line drive shot to left inspired the rest of the ball club to stop scoring.
At the time of this publishing, Morse leads the majors in homeruns.
Brandon Maurer (0-1, 9.00), making his major league debut, allowed a two-run homerun to Josh Reddick in the first. Maurer allowed six runs over six innings, fanning one batter, and giving up eight hits.
"I could have given up a run each inning," Maurer said, "but I figured I should give them up in spurts. Why wait?"
"I would have allowed more, but [Michael] Saunders had to go and throw someone out."
Saunders also had a sac-fly in the fifth to score the Mariners first run of the game. At the time, it cut Oakland's lead to 2-1.
However, Seattle wasn't satisfied with just a one-run deficit, allowing the A's to answer with a run in the fifth, and three in the sixth.
"I always tell them that if you're going to go out there," Wedge said, "no matter what you do, do the best you can."
Heeding that advice, Mariners reliever, Lucas Luetge, allowed two sac-flies in the eighth, increasing the Mariners deficit to six.
"I tried to give up more," Luetge said, "but they only hit them far enough for sacrifices."
Tidbit of the Day
Michael Morse is - somehow - still on pace for 162 homeruns this season. Regarding the torrid pace, Wedge said he "bet him a dollar for every run" the Mariners score this year that he couldn't do it.
In reply, Morse said, "I know that only makes it a ninety-eight dollar bet, but I need a new pair of batting gloves."
Yahoo! Sports Box Score
-----
While some information in the article is factual, the article itself is meant for entertainment. All quotes are fictitious.
Michael Morse, Franklin Gutierrez Homer, Mariners Lose 6-2
After a lead off homerun from Franklin Gutierrez and another first-inning homerun from Michael Morse, Mariners pitcher, Joe Saunders, struggled with his command and the Mariners (2-1) lost their first game of the early season.
"I wanted to see if the offense was for real or not," Saunders said. "It's been too easy with the games Mr. McFeeley [Felix Hernandez] and Ewok [Hisashi Iwakuma] pitched to open the season."
Saunders pitched four innings, finding Athletics bats seven times for hits, missing them four times for walks, and struck out three while giving up four runs. Two of the walks helped set up a no-outs bases-loaded jam in the third.
"Did you see the stadium?" Saunders said. "No one was there. I was trying to raise ticket sales."
Saunders escaped allowing just one run, which tied the game at two, and cursed at himself stepping off the field.
Oakland claimed the lead, their first of the season, on a two-out, two-run double by Jed Lowrie. Lowrie was greedy and added a solo blast in the seventh.
Mariners Manager, Eric Wedge, said the game was "typical of what he saw last season" and expects the Mariners to "rebound sometime around August."
Tidbit of the Day
Seattle Mariners outfielder Michael Morse is still on pace for 162 homeruns this season.
Yahoo! Sports Box Score
-----
While some information in the article is factual, the article itself is meant for entertainment. All quotes are fictitious.
"I wanted to see if the offense was for real or not," Saunders said. "It's been too easy with the games Mr. McFeeley [Felix Hernandez] and Ewok [Hisashi Iwakuma] pitched to open the season."
 |
| Mariners pitcher Hisashi Iwakuma. (Credit: Andres Rueda) |
"Did you see the stadium?" Saunders said. "No one was there. I was trying to raise ticket sales."
Saunders escaped allowing just one run, which tied the game at two, and cursed at himself stepping off the field.
Oakland claimed the lead, their first of the season, on a two-out, two-run double by Jed Lowrie. Lowrie was greedy and added a solo blast in the seventh.
Mariners Manager, Eric Wedge, said the game was "typical of what he saw last season" and expects the Mariners to "rebound sometime around August."
Tidbit of the Day
Seattle Mariners outfielder Michael Morse is still on pace for 162 homeruns this season.
Yahoo! Sports Box Score
-----
While some information in the article is factual, the article itself is meant for entertainment. All quotes are fictitious.
03 April 2013
April 8 is Mariners Magnetic Schedule Night - Oh, and Opening Day
The first home game of the 2013 season for the Seattle Mariners is Monday, April 8, when new A.L. West arrivals, the Houston Astros, visit the Emerald City.
All fans in attendance receive a 2013 Seattle Mariners magnetic schedule from Safeco Insurance that can be easily removed from the fridge if the Mariners lose to Houston.
Fans not in attendance can print a Mariners schedule and use an Astros 2013 Schedule magnet to attach it to their fridge.
Opening Day fanfare begins at 6:30 PST (four minutes before sunset) and some of it might be entertaining. Come out and support the Mariners and their new-dimensioned ballpark.
Bring an umbrella.
 |
| The Emerald City. (Source) |
All fans in attendance receive a 2013 Seattle Mariners magnetic schedule from Safeco Insurance that can be easily removed from the fridge if the Mariners lose to Houston.
Fans not in attendance can print a Mariners schedule and use an Astros 2013 Schedule magnet to attach it to their fridge.
Opening Day fanfare begins at 6:30 PST (four minutes before sunset) and some of it might be entertaining. Come out and support the Mariners and their new-dimensioned ballpark.
Bring an umbrella.
Mariners Win Second-Straight, Set Pace for 162-0 Season
Michael Morse homered twice and Hisashi Iwakuma pitched 2/3 of a 9 inning game as the Seattle Mariners (2-0) won their second game of the season 7-1 over the Oakland Athletics (0-2)Tuesday night.
Mariners skipper, Eric Wedge, was impressed with the performance.
"They looked good. Might have set the bar a little high, but we have time to lower it."
Oakland scored first on a Yoenis Cespedes homerun in the second, Iwakuma's only earned run of the game.
"Wish I could have that one back," Iwakuma said. "Not because I gave up the homer, but because I really liked that ball."
The Mariners answered with an opposite-field three-run shot from Morse that barely cleared the right-field wall. He added a monstrous solo shot in the ninth and is on pace for 162 homeruns, now.
"We were pretty impressed," Mariners second basemen Dustin Ackley said. "It's been a while since we've seen one, let alone two."
"Yeah, they all wanted to use my bat after that," Morse said. "Smokey (Justin Smoke) kept touching my biceps."
Iwakuma kept the Athletics off-balance through six innings, mixing pitches and alcoholic drinks en route to seven strikeouts on two hits and no walks.
After the game, players talked about the possibility of winning 162 games. Wedge handled the excitement with calmness and brutal honesty.
"Look, I'm not saying we can't go 162-0, but let's not kid ourselves, we have to play the Astros at some point."
Tidbits of the Day
No team has ever recorded a perfect 162-0 season, not even with performance enhancing drugs.
The Mariners are two games above .500, the first time since 1913 when the Mariners played in the Greater Seattle Tee-Ball League (GSTBL).
Seattle Mariners outfielder, Michael Saunders, stole his second base of the season and was disappointed that no one mentioned the possibility of him stealing 162 this year.
Yahoo! Sports Box Score
-----
While some information in the article is factual, the article itself is meant for entertainment. All quotes are fictitious.
Mariners skipper, Eric Wedge, was impressed with the performance.
"They looked good. Might have set the bar a little high, but we have time to lower it."
 |
| Something like that. (Credit: Guillaume Paumier) |
Oakland scored first on a Yoenis Cespedes homerun in the second, Iwakuma's only earned run of the game.
"Wish I could have that one back," Iwakuma said. "Not because I gave up the homer, but because I really liked that ball."
The Mariners answered with an opposite-field three-run shot from Morse that barely cleared the right-field wall. He added a monstrous solo shot in the ninth and is on pace for 162 homeruns, now.
"We were pretty impressed," Mariners second basemen Dustin Ackley said. "It's been a while since we've seen one, let alone two."
"Yeah, they all wanted to use my bat after that," Morse said. "Smokey (Justin Smoke) kept touching my biceps."
 |
| Even regular Joes are copying Morse. (Credit: Kathy T) |
Iwakuma kept the Athletics off-balance through six innings, mixing pitches and alcoholic drinks en route to seven strikeouts on two hits and no walks.
After the game, players talked about the possibility of winning 162 games. Wedge handled the excitement with calmness and brutal honesty.
"Look, I'm not saying we can't go 162-0, but let's not kid ourselves, we have to play the Astros at some point."
Tidbits of the Day
No team has ever recorded a perfect 162-0 season, not even with performance enhancing drugs.
The Mariners are two games above .500, the first time since 1913 when the Mariners played in the Greater Seattle Tee-Ball League (GSTBL).
Seattle Mariners outfielder, Michael Saunders, stole his second base of the season and was disappointed that no one mentioned the possibility of him stealing 162 this year.
Yahoo! Sports Box Score
-----
While some information in the article is factual, the article itself is meant for entertainment. All quotes are fictitious.
02 April 2013
Mariners Win Season Opener, Entire Athletics Team Considers Retirement
After scoring two runs in the fifth inning, the Seattle Mariners turned off the offensive fireworks and forced Felix Hernandez to keep Oakland scoreless for his first win of the season. Tom Wilhelmsen closed the game for his first save.
Mariner's Manager, Eric Wedge, called the game an "offensive explosion," and a display of batting prowess he doubts the team will duplicate again this year.
"We've spent many years last or near last in the league when it comes to batting, so to see the guys go out there and collect five hits and strikeout eleven times is invigorating."
Athletics Manager, and former Mariners skipper, Bob Melvin, voiced different concerns after his club's ninth-consecutive opening day loss.
"Many of the guys were talking about retirement," Melvin said. "I had to remind them that it was the Mariners seventh-consecutive opening day win. And we all know they won the division last year."
Mariners centerfielder Franklin Gutierrez hit a two-run single in the top of the fifth and managed to stay healthy for the rest of the game.
"It felt good," Gutierrez said. "I'm thinking late-May before I go on the DL. Maybe June if I feel ambitious."
Hernandez allowed three hits, struck out eight, and had a soft spot for Coco Crisp, the only batter he walked.
"It's part of my contract," Hernandez said. "Every now and then I just have to walk someone so they think I'm human."
The Mariners (1-0) meet the Athletics again on Tuesday, April 2nd in the second game of a four-game series.
Tidbit of the Day
Mariners shortstop, Brendan Ryan, went 1-1 with a run and two walks. When asked about his performance, Ryan said, "It's amazing how much better I do when I don't swing the bat."
Yahoo! Sports Box Score
-----
While some information in the article is factual, the article itself is meant for entertainment. All quotes are fictitious.
Mariner's Manager, Eric Wedge, called the game an "offensive explosion," and a display of batting prowess he doubts the team will duplicate again this year.
 |
| Visual approximation of Mariners offense. Source: National Nuclear Security Administration. |
"We've spent many years last or near last in the league when it comes to batting, so to see the guys go out there and collect five hits and strikeout eleven times is invigorating."
Athletics Manager, and former Mariners skipper, Bob Melvin, voiced different concerns after his club's ninth-consecutive opening day loss.
"Many of the guys were talking about retirement," Melvin said. "I had to remind them that it was the Mariners seventh-consecutive opening day win. And we all know they won the division last year."
Mariners centerfielder Franklin Gutierrez hit a two-run single in the top of the fifth and managed to stay healthy for the rest of the game.
"It felt good," Gutierrez said. "I'm thinking late-May before I go on the DL. Maybe June if I feel ambitious."
 |
| Gutierrez in unfamiliar territory - on the playing field. Credit: kdirk |
Hernandez allowed three hits, struck out eight, and had a soft spot for Coco Crisp, the only batter he walked.
"It's part of my contract," Hernandez said. "Every now and then I just have to walk someone so they think I'm human."
The Mariners (1-0) meet the Athletics again on Tuesday, April 2nd in the second game of a four-game series.
Tidbit of the Day
Mariners shortstop, Brendan Ryan, went 1-1 with a run and two walks. When asked about his performance, Ryan said, "It's amazing how much better I do when I don't swing the bat."
Yahoo! Sports Box Score
-----
While some information in the article is factual, the article itself is meant for entertainment. All quotes are fictitious.
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